My narrative writing please comment

The Forbidden cave

One spooky night the children were surprised not to see that there dad Adam hadn’t arrived back from work, their mum Gabriel didn’t notice to in the morning there was a note for mum on the bed.”Darling Gabriel will you ever forgivWwe me for not coming home last night but I will not be late this time”.Jordan asked mum”When did this letter arrive mum.”I have no clue”replied mum.

Later that day dad arrived home covered in blood,Ella screamed when she saw dad covered in blood,”Shhh” wheres mum, oh shes sleeping in bed.Why because she was worried you wouldn’t come home.”Well I’m home now”.Adam walked to the shower when he got out he jumped into some clean clothes he placed his dirty yucky clothes in the washing machine mum was up and went to go do the laundry she came back in the house and spoke in a cleary voice,”Why didn’t you come home last night.Adam had nothing to answer her questioned so he got the knife and cut off her head.slikkkkkkk. The kids ran, Adam ran after them with his knife collection in his hands.

A few minutes later dad had caught the kids and told them never to enter the cave of mystery.”Wonder why he called it the cave of mystery”. Jordan spoke.Don’t listen to that junk said Ella.” Yes I agree with Ella said Hanita.Well we should be heading home now.”No wait but mum yeah what about mum she still at home yeah we can’t just leave her there yes we can I’ll bring it up with the police I’m old enough to look after myself and you two.”So I’ll rent a house for us to live in until the police gets this sorted.

Later that night Ella heard something creeping over by her do a shadow had blocked out the light it was Jordan oh its just you said Ella what do you want. I want to find out why dad won’t let us near the cave or in it.I know because he’s are evil fake dad.

By Konrad