On the 29th of June the Tautoro Titans went down to Auckland (Mt Smart) to awhi Corey Naera.
When we got to Mt Smart I was jumping up and down with excitement like a kangaroo jumping in a tree to gets baby. Then Esmonde asked the under 20s if we could do the haka for them and we were waiting and then they walked straight past us and then we saw Corey and we done the haka for him it was so mean because Corey done the haka with us and you could see in his eyes he was like “yes, yes im home my brothers”.
After doing the haka we ran to our chairs and the whistle went, kick off time Corey caught the ball he past to the prop and the prop done a mean as bunt.
And then it was 5th and final Corey done a mean kick it went to the full back and then the warriors got a penalty the warriors kicked it out then they tapped it right next to the try and the warriors gave it to the prop he ran through all of them and Corey come running from the other side and smashed him and saved the try.
Finally when he finished his game the Tautoro Titans wanted to go by their huddle and do the haka for him put the security guards wouldn’t let us past because we needed a ticket then Corey saw us and walked over and we done another haka and he done with us and after the haka he signed all of the Tautoro Titans stuff. For walking away from his team like that it will cost him about 10,000 dollars.
I will never forget that day because I saw my brother.
THE END
Konrad I am impressed with how focussed you were to get this recount written and posted. You have ordered your events well and I see some effort put into adding detail - well done. I really enjoyed reading about such a special moment. I want you to go into edit and see if you can put punctuation in where it is needed. You are normally good at this. Also fixed past (happened yesterday to passed). Keep writing :) You are making good progress.
ReplyDeleteThank you whaea I appreciate it
Deletenice work I like the work but the "gets the baby" part is wrong but I can't wait to see your next writing
ReplyDeletethanks
DeleteKia ora,
ReplyDeleteI really like your story i cant wait to see another one Konrad keep it up!! hehe :)
Thank you chozen
DeleteHi Konrad Nangi'z here I love the way that you finished your story and your 2nd and 3rd paragraph because it had a lot of detail and what you did with your brother. Your punctuation and your grammar should be fixed up a bit, but everything else is very ..,.TINO RAWE...
ReplyDeleteWell Done Konrad... ...Very Impressed with you my brother... HAHA
Thank you nomairangi (sis) I appreciate
DeleteGreat story Konrad I liked How you said when you were jumping up and down like a kangaroo your story is very interesting I think that you should keep on writing keep up the good work
ReplyDeletethank you Julie Ann I appreciate that
Deletecool story konrad that would cool
ReplyDeletewhat does that would cool mean
Delete